This is not the first time I'm asking if I could just be an ungrateful bitch for a while.

I woke up today all excited because I thought that the three of us namely my dad, nana and I, would be heading out somewhere to get new clothes for nana. But nooooooo, incidentally, both of them were snoring when I got out of the shower. So I thought, nevermind, I'll just check my mail and then watch some tv. I have to say this, I didn't wake up in the bestest of moods and it's all thanks to the horrible soccer match from the night before. Seriously, what was the fucking ref thinking? I have to admit that I wasn't too keen on Arsenal lifting the cup but to risk sending off the goalkeeper and then sacrifice one of the most experienced and promising players??? wtf. Forget it. Let's get on with what's really bothering me.

My dad said something when I was going to the kitchen to get food and that just triggered everything. I just pictured a ghastly 3rd world war scenario, involving just me myself and I and the rest of the world. At that juncture, in the kitchen, as I was slicing the chocolate cake with the kitchen knife, I just felt like plunging the knife straight into my chest. Yes, I felt there and then that taking away my own life would put an end to my misery. It wasn't the brightest of ideas but the thought of ending all pain felt damn good.

I'm not some 5 year-old child who needs to be told what to do and when to do things. Yes, whether you or my parents believe it or not, I can do that. I know damn well when to make my way down to the driving centre and get down to it. Besides, there isn't enough funds for me to actually book ALL FRIGGIN' 6-7 LESSONS AND THE TEST DATE! So cut me some slack already.

And honestly, I've had it up till *here*. I honestly have no idea what this world or my mother wants from me. Keluar salah, tak keluar pun salah. Semua serba tak kena. I'm on the brink of losing my sanity. She just goes on and on as if I've committed a huge sin. Hmmm, of course, I smoke pot and I gallivant a lot with the boys from the void deck. -_-

Firstly, if I had the authority, I would arrest all of them for illegal possession of cigarettes. Semua anak.bawah.umur lah seh.

Kalau aku nampak adik-adik aku lepak bawah blok dengan budak-budak tu semua, situ jugak aku tempeleng muka dia dan aku piat telinga dia, heret balik rumah.

I reached home before 9 yesterday and she made such a big hoo-haa out of it and apparently thinks it's out of line. My youngest sister is still not back from school after her exam paper! God. It wasn't (and isn't) even a school night for me!!!!!!!!!!! So just what exactly is the world trying to prove to me? That it's okay for a 12-year-old to go out and have a jolly good time even though exams are not over but it's definitely NOT okay for a 19-year-old who's not even a student at the moment, to come back before 9?

And guess what.

It's 1800hrs and I've not had lunch.

I WOULD MUCH RATHER LIVE IN TANJONG RAMBUTAN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

At least I know they don't expect me to have a driver's license. *snorts*