Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Life has been nothing but an abyss of disappointment and despair.
Well, not entirely. But yea, you get what I'm driving at.
Kwinella @ 3:18 AM!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I think we've all had enough of my sup kambing escapades and selenge episodes and it's about time we get down to business.
I've been avoiding this subject for a while now, simply because I was apprehensive. I wasn't sure if I would ever go any further than where I am now in life. I am just afraid that I'd have nowhere to go to. Once, I was so certain that the future really looked bleak. Well, it isn't any better at the moment but at least I'm now sane enough to be able to recognise options and alternatives that are viable and more importantly, affordable.
It's pretty difficult to go anywhere with grades like mine, which are neither here nor there. Scouting for an affordable alternative isn't quite like buying fish in the market, but that, I've managed to come to terms with. Now that I already have a layout of possible routes to getting a degree, the uphill task of looking for financial resources lies ahead of me.
In this frantic attempt to look for a place of higher learning, the emotional void has simultaneously expanded. How is it even possible despite this paperchase madness, I'm not sure. I thought that with all that's occupying my mind, I'd be able to forget that my heart is shattered beyond repair. At least momentarily. But the longer I spend my time browsing online (esp late at night), the bigger of an emotional basket case I become. It just doesn't make sense.
On days when I do not feel like thinking about possibilities, I keep myself busy with food and entertained by the National Geographic channel or ESPN. With all the extremely high highs and extremely low lows, I'm bound to crack one day and disintegrate. Just like a rock which eventually experiences granular disintegration, caused by differential expansion and contraction due to different mineral content.
Everyday, I ask for nothing from Him but strength, courage and faith so that I can help myself.
Kwinella @ 2:46 AM!
It's May 30th. The day our MerseyBoy, our Captain Fantastic turns 26! Happy birthday Stevie G!!! I love you deep deep. May you score more goals and lead Liverpool to the premiership title in the next season and who knows, you might even lift more cups.
Nevermind that he doesn't know I exist and that the probability of him stumbling upon this is erm, positively zero.
Anyway, we didn't make it to East Coast but we did catch a movie at Lot 1. A 2nd time for me but was still as exciting as the first time. It was exciting but was not as pleasant because annoying little buggers behind me couldn't sit still. And their father just had to talk out loud during the movie, as though we're all in HIS house complete with surround sound and all. I was *this* close to turning around and giving them a tight slap. I don't think I'd make a good parent.
As we made our way to the carpark after the movie, I suddenly felt like mimicking Fifi (from that indonesian sinetron which finally ended) in the scene where she was finally put behind bars (don't ask why because i just felt like it). A couple of passerbys saw me in action and according to my sister, they looked rather concerned and shocked at the same time. Well, who wouldn't be? Such a sweet-looking girl and yet so senteng. hur hur hur.
But I had a slip-of-the-tongue which was just... beyond me.
me (after the whole fifi episode): eh nana, what was their erection?
The carpark echoed with our laughter. Kelakar nak mampos. No prize for correctly guessing what I had actually intended to say.
I had a kick-ass Monday y'all. I even had mutton soup!!! (: I bet your Monday wasn't as cool as mine because you didn't have sup kambing. nenni nenni poo poo.
Ya Allah, grow up lah Ain, grow up.
Kwinella @ 1:14 AM!
Monday, May 29, 2006
It's amazing how even after almost 2 hours of html-ing, I'm still very wide awake. Well, Class 95 is partly to be blamed. It has been playing all the songs that remind me of school. When I first turned on the radio, it was playing Britney's Sometimes. Omg, that was soooooo secondary school and I can't believe it has been *that* long. Everything's coming back to me. You know how certain songs can make you go weak in the knees, tear in the eye and you suddenly have butterflies in the stomach no matter how much you hate them. It's all about events and how you associate the songs with the events, people.
As I was just about to doze off, I suddenly remembered that not too long ago, I used to sing I Miss You Like Crazy with a bunch of people (acoustic version) and I started sobbing till mad everytime we sang it. sigh. Such memories.
Can you people stop playing such nice songs when I really could do with some sleep?
I'm already as blind as a bat. I don't need to be nocturnal like them also.
Hmmm, okay since the Z monsters are evading me, I shall talk about my evening with a certain uncle. This uncle, he's no cheekopek. He's a nice uncle. He's actually not that old but I wonder why he likes to be called uncle. Tapi baguslah. Tandanya dia sedar akan dirinya yang tidak berapa muda. This uncle is quite the mountain tortoise. He wanted to watch Da Vinci Code at Tiong Bahru's GV because he has never been there. This uncle, a runner he is. Runners are supposed to be strong-willed and a stamina everlasting, yes? But this uncle here, I caught him almost nodding off to slumberland, yes I did.
After the movie, I became hungry and my appetite was becoming rather ravenous and hence, the trip to Al Ameen. Quite the glutton that I am, I already had in mind what I going to have. Yes, amidst the very engaging conversation that we were having on the bus towards bt timah, I was fantasizing about the glorious mee tom yam. hur hur hur. But once we were there, I had my mind changed completely. The prospect of having Indian food lured me into sharing the cheese naan with the uncle. And the chicken masala was sheer awesomeness, wasn't it uncle???
hur hur hur.
Okay, I really should stop calling him uncle because it's making me feel and think that I went out with a cheekopek. And for the concerned parties, in all seriousness, he's not an uncle lah. In fact, he's just a clone of Rusydi. A slightly older clone. They're so similar, I thought it was creepy.
Okay my eyes are finally getting droopy. A new day beckons and a pending trip to east coast park with the little sister is making me excited. I'm so excited, I could just roll from my desk to the bed. hur hur hur. diam lah ain.
Kwinella @ 4:06 AM!
my sister desperately wants to be given credit for some of the changes made to the blog of mine.
You see, she got me a new template. Yeap, this little bugger sister of mine stayed up with me at 2 in the a.m to scavenge (hur hur) for layouts, albeit simple ones. Her reward (an advance one, nonetheless) was a fillet 'o fish meal from macdees.
Kwinella @ 2:45 AM!
Aku paling menyampah bila baca blog orang dan aku nampak ini dua perkataan:
1. irresistable
2. definately
!!!!!!!!!!!
Irresistible and definitely, eh sila~ Thank you very much.
What is up with these people? Have they got the A-syndrome (whatever that is)? It's super-annoying, can? And mind you, most of these blogs I come across are actually owned by undergrads. You go figure.
-----------
To those sitting for the GCE 'O' Level Mother Tongue examination, all the best!
Kwinella @ 12:36 AM!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
I was about to switch off this damn thing when I said to myself "oh come on, one last site before you go read that stupid book just to make yourself sleepy". I ended up at some anorexic's weblog and that was when I became dumbstruck and couldn't even think of anything to think. of.
At that juncture, I began to realise how shallow I've been all this while, thinking that these cases only appear on tv. And I was actually stupid beyond belief as to assure myself that there is no one in this world with eating disorder (other than those who're actually struggling to live amidst famine and droughts). I did so because I was so sure that no one in their right minds would deprive themselves of food and would want to be so skinny, that they could just disappear from the face of the Earth.
And then I told myself, please don't let this be real. Please let this all be in a dream; that I chanced upon this blog in a dream, while I'm asleep. Man, this sucks big time.
Kwinella @ 3:25 AM!
or something like that.
Anyhow, I just got off the msn, chatting with my dad in Zurich.
He had the heart to scold me even when he's miles apart from us. tsk. I bet it's gonna be worse when he comes back on Monday. I'll be expecting an earful. But it's okay. As long as he's home. And he'll be home for 14 days. whooooooot. 14 days before his next flight. I'm expecting a pair of papillio and lotsa hanutas and giottos. hur hur.
Sometimes I wish I could just morph myself into one of his clothes so that I can fit right into one of his luggage. I've never been allowed to follow him on flight. baaah. When asked if I could follow him for his Frankfurt flight, he goes
"But it's only a four-day flight. I go on the ** and return on the **. Lagipun there's nothing for you to see in Frankfurt. Macamlah tak pernah pergi."
Yea, about three times but we were only on transit . -_- I just saw hoards of people and I drank nothing but hot chocolate. And that's about it. geewhiz.
***editted: I was too caught up in my fantasy world, I had clean forgotten about tonight. I had an awesome dinner which left me feeling completely gorged. And yea, I felt like a VVVIP. Very VERY Very Irritating Person. I had fun being one, though. hur hur hur.
And then we were off to Lot 1 to catch X Men. It was the only place which had not run of tickets by that time. I cried (why am I not surprised) watching it and I left the theatre with a terrible backache. I'm getting old. Oh no. Only 19 and the aches are kicking in. Anyway, I thought that Cheryl had turned into a mutant because she started barking out of nowhere. hur hur. I had this corny idea that since we were the only 6 left in the theatre, we would all turn into mutants. Geraldine reminded me that there were people behind and I told her, nevermind, they're just humans. We can kill 'em. hur hur. So evil, this Ain is.
The one thing that left me in stitches was imagining one of us turning into a mutant with the ability to squirt milk out of you-know-where. And that one of us, by the way, isn't someone with you-know-what. heeeeeeeee. We are all quite the cheekopeks(?), this bunch.
Needless to say, I had a blast.
And oiiii, if you're gonna watch that movie, do not walk away when the credits are screened. Stay till the very end. You wouldn't want to miss that very last bit. It's imperative that you stay. I repeat, I M P E R A T I V E.
Kwinella @ 2:36 AM!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
I'm doing this like
she did because I feel obliged. Afterall, I did spend a good 4 months as a gramophone staff. (:
Gramohone's having a 20% off all cds and 15% off all dvds and vcds above $10. The offer has started and is for a limited period only. Hurry, spread the word and go get yourself some cds or vcds or dvds. Or all of them.
Moving on... I am amused at how each movie that I decide to re-watch can make me tear. All of them except for Bujang Lapok. Okay, I've no idea as to what exactly is amusing about crying when watching a movie. But I guess there is just no escaping it when you watch Black Hawk Down. Tell me if you can sit through a movie like Black Hawk Down, emotionless, and then walk away as though it didn't leave you with any form of impression in the slightest bit. Tell me if you can sit back and not feel constipated with disgust, horror and poignance all at the same time as you watch men, women and children pointing guns at each other.
And I, by the way, am a sucker for scenes with someone struggling (almost dying) to say something like "Tell my parents I fought well today. Tell them I fought hard". Ohhh how the tears streamed down rapidly.
Okay, I'm sort of braindead right now. All I want to do is -stare- into the monitor and hopefully a hand holding a large pepperoni pizza and a bottle of green tea reaches out to me. I can't believe I am thinking of food at this ungodly hour. Ohhh speaking of which, I had another cooking experiment today.
My mum had specially cooked chicken soup for Nana who's really under the weather right now. I, on the other hand, didn't feel like having macaroni in chicken soup. And boy, hunger really is a catalyst for something great. Okay the fried macaroni didn't turn out to be
something great. Onions, blended chilli, a little bit of pasta sauce, curry powder, soy sauce and basil did the trick. It was really
pedas nak mampos, though. But I got to eat, so hey.
hur hur.
Kwinella @ 1:37 AM!
Friday, May 26, 2006
For the last time anonymous, or whoever's going to come up to me next and ask me about her uni application, ask her yourself. If you're going to ask me how is she doing, the next time around you come in here, I'm so going to hunt you down. Whatever it takes, I'll make sure I drag you to her doorstep so that you have ample opportunity to ask what's next for her, when is she getting married and how many children is she planning to have. And then, I'll probably strangle you to death.
Or not.
Kwinella @ 5:08 PM!
A few nights ago, I dreamt that she talked to me. I dreamt that we talked.
That's strange, considering how things are right now.
Well no matter, have you by any chance seen the sky tonight? It's magnificent.
Kwinella @ 1:36 AM!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
This is what happens to a mak-nenek/scatterbrain.
I was so excited about blogging but when I've already logged in and all set to go tet-tet-tet on the keyboard, everything just seems to disappear. eurgh.
Nevermind. Since I'm so hungry, I could eat a cow, I shall go have my dinner now.
Jat, saya tahu yang awak amat ghairah tentang ketibaan awak ke kota singa ni. And I don't think my entries are funny. It's just that... my family is quirky, I am one hell of a selenge and sometimes funny things happen to a quirky family. Especially to a quirky family who has a selenge as a daughter. hur hur.
Kwinella @ 9:07 PM!
Sha, cepat teka!!!
Which child am I?
(:
Kwinella @ 3:41 AM!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
My mum told me when I woke up that something spooky happened this morning when my sister got up to go wee wee. My sister found the stove lit up. So, when she got ready for school and everyone else was awake, she asked my mum if anyone had cooked maggi and left the fire on. As far as my memory serves me, I immediately went inside my room after rotk ended. No maggi or whatsoever.
Therefore, we rashly concluded that it must have been a ghost waiting for one of us to get up at 3 or so in the morning to cook maggi. Upon realising that none of us were getting up, it decided to cook for itself and had later forgotten to turn the fire off. hur hur. Very irrational people, we are.
It was much later in the afternoon that we got to know that my dad's the culprit. It had something to do with his lighter... *shrugs*
Kwinella @ 8:37 PM!
The above title reminded me of one of the many ghost stories I read in Russell Lee's collections (remember those?). That particular story was entitled "Nenek, This One Notchet Sleep".
hur hur.
Okay, I'm feeling very sleepy. Hmmm this is rather abrupt.
Actually, saya tiba-tiba jadi pengecut. Jadi, saya akan pergi tidur. hur hur. Selamat Malam.
Kwinella @ 4:05 AM!
The lack of activity in my brain is well-demonstrated by the cheesy titles I come up with. But that is another story for another day. I am just about done watching LOTR - Return of The King and last night, I watched Two Towers. The sudden urge to watch LOTR came last night in the wee hours, when I suddenly felt sad while listening to a song. It's all very merepek. I told my friend with whom I was chatting on MSN, that I was feeling down and wanted to watch LOTR. At 1.30 in the a.m. I have no idea as to what madness drove me to watch that movie at 1.30am.
And so I sat through an intense and gruelling 3 hours (or so) in front of the television and after that, I left the study feeling exhausted as if I've just been through an epic battle, fighting with orcs and slaying Nazguls. Tonight's part of the marathon was no different, except that the battle scenes were much much, more mindblowing. It's probably because of the way Legolas slid down from the Oliphaunt's humongous trunk.
Hur hur.
And in all honesty, this is definitely not my first time watching LOTR but everytime I watch Legolas in action with his bow and arrow, and Eowyn plunge the sword into the Witch King of Angmar after saying "I am no man!" with much gusto, I get blown off my feet. It's like... whoaaaaa~ Such is the beauty of this trilogy. I even choked on my tears when Frodo had to leave with Gandalf, Bilbo and the Elves. The tears just kept coming and I could almost feel my heart wrenching when Frodo hugged and kissed Samwise on the forehead.
Fortunately for me, my mother was asleep by then. hur hur. I'm certain she would've teased me till I go mad if she wasn't.
What's next? I have no idea. I have all of Bujang Lapok waiting for me. And a part of me wants to watch that Champions League match again. The one which I've watched tak tahu berapa kali. You know, the one where Captain Fantastic scored with a magnificent header and then went on to lift the silverware after winning on penalties? Alah, the one I watched sampai terlentok because it took too damn long to reach an end.
hur hur. okay, shut up Ain.
I might just decide to let Nickelodeon fry my brain to no end.
Kwinella @ 2:17 AM!
Monday, May 22, 2006
And already I am so knackered.
With only Wednesday for a breather and pending outings over the weekend, I'll need all the strength and courage I can muster to stay alive and sane.
God, help me. Ameen.
Kwinella @ 10:57 PM!
I saw it again.
This time on tv, at home.
Yes, I saw that ad of Gerrard and Reina, again. whooot whooooots.
Kwinella @ 3:38 AM!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
So someone who, at one point of time in my life, was someone significant, turned 22 today. Even though it was supposed to be a day to celebrate jubilance, adulthood, and a lifetime of happiness and wellness, he turned out to be quite an asshole. Pardon me, I am clueless as to how to put it politely. The least you could have done when someone wishes you well is to reciprocate by expressing gratitude. Really, a word of thanks would have sufficed. A "yeah. whatever" was definitely uncalled for. A foul mood is no excuse for such ungraciousness. At least not by my standard. gee, up yours man.
In any case, that brief period of sms exchange left me unfazed. I got up, showered and caught up with the tube. I missed last night's epl celebration show, dammit. But nevermind that. Oh God, I almost forgot that I'll be heading down to the driving centre tomorrow. It has been a while and I am definitely dreading it. I've forgotten how to do parallel parking and I can definitely expect an earful from my instructor. wahlaueyyy.
And then, just a while ago, some kid messaged me on msn asking me what I was up to when my status appeared as Busy. I replied "was busy with something" with utmost nonchalance and he asked "wat?" wahlauuuu. He is quite the nosey parker and I don't even know him.
Mak saya pun tak ada kaypoh macam gitu sekali.
And the the rest of the evening was spent watching The Official History of Liverpool FC. I am falling head over heels in love with Steven Gerrard all over again. *sighs dreamily* Ohhh and I must say that Ian Rush looks much much better as he gets older. He can also do without that moustache.
hur hur.
In my humble opinion, only one man can pull it off and that is Nassier Wahab. Don't ask why, I just think so.
Kwinella @ 11:44 PM!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
In all seriousness, I'm one hundred percent, completely bored to my wits' end.
Let's not dismiss the fact that I just opened a rejection letter about an hour ago (or so). No, I'm not depressed because a university refuses to enrol me. I'm just panic-stricken, I guess. Well, who wouldn't be? Afterall, ntu and nie are the only two institution of higher learning which I applied for.
Bleh. It is but a big blow.
Oh God, who am I kidding. Of course I'm depressed. Devastated big time. But I'll be okay, I think.
Well, I suppose pending date with friends and a pending movie will help me pull through. And there's always food. Da Vinci code better not be a let down. The reviews in papers and online haven't been positive at all. But because I don't normally trust movie reviews in Life, I'll catch it anyway. Then again, that's always the case with books turned major motion picture, isn't it? So many have claimed that the movie memoirs of a geisha doesn't do justice to the author's work.
Oh boy, I think I made the biggest mistake by far, by consuming caffeine, cheeseburger and fries at 2 in the morning. I am certain that there is no Z-monster in me, at all.
Macam mana niiii.
And I've been receiving emails with subjects pertaining to online degree and nursing as a career, everyday. I get at least 6 t0 7, daily. So weird.
So choppy, my thoughts are. Okay, nevermind. I think I shall just read a book. That way, my eyes will be droopy and in no time, I'll be off in slumberland. arrivederci!
Kwinella @ 4:34 AM!
Yes, at 3 in the morning, I checked my mailbox and there it was, the white envelope from NTU.
Yes, it's the small white envelope. We all know what that means. Hmprfffff. Tough luck.
Oh well, we'll just wait and see what the outcome of my appeal will be. Meanwhile, it's time to go scout for ummm... I think it's time to pay the SPF website a visit.
Kwinella @ 3:56 AM!
Friday, May 19, 2006
You know you had a good tudung day when it stays perfectly in place despite having walked through super-powerful fans which are all over the place. I'm talking about the fans at beach road. Yea, those fans. And if that's the case, you know you had just the right amount of starch.
hur hur.
This is the first time I actually remembered the mental note that I made while I was out. On most occasions, they would have most probably disappeared from my head as if my head is a leaky faucet.
Kwinella @ 9:12 PM!
woiiiii NTU and NIE!!!
I am very tired of sitting, waiting and wishing. Won't you come send the letter already? I really don't mind if it's an offer or a rejection letter. I think I'd be able to handle the latter quite well since I'm adapting rather well to it of late.
hur hur.
Nevertheless, please send it quick. The anticipation is killing me.
That aside, next week's prospect is looking good y'all. I'm fully booked and I feel so loved.
I am so happy, I can sing Banana Pancakes all day long.
(:
Kwinella @ 2:47 PM!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
woiiiiii.
What were you, people of America, thinking when you texted in those votes?!
First it was Chris Daughtry and now Elliott Yamin!
And I have a problem with Taylor Hicks and the size of Katherine McPhee's bo-dang-dangs.
haiz. Then again, these are the same people who voted for Bush. So hey, need I say more?
And why do I have a problem with the former 2? I just don't like them. (: What, if people can dislike me and not talk to me for no apparent reason, surely it's only fair that I have the right not to like other people simply because I choose not to like them. (:
Kwinella @ 6:53 PM!
I give up.
I am not going to sit around and wait for someone to actually buy LUNCH.
I'll just have to resort to maggi.
Nevermind the pending hair loss. I'm losing a lot of hair anyway. What with all the pulling whenever I get frustrated when mother starts nagging. It's like a broken record that goes on and on.
Hmmm... if there's maggi. Or, I can just gobble up the damned chocolate cake baked for someone whom I realised at the 11th hour, is not worth all that chocolate.
Kwinella @ 6:20 PM!
This is not the first time I'm asking if I could just be an ungrateful bitch for a while.
I woke up today all excited because I thought that the three of us namely my dad, nana and I, would be heading out somewhere to get new clothes for nana. But nooooooo, incidentally, both of them were snoring when I got out of the shower. So I thought, nevermind, I'll just check my mail and then watch some tv. I have to say this, I didn't wake up in the bestest of moods and it's all thanks to the horrible soccer match from the night before. Seriously, what was the fucking ref thinking? I have to admit that I wasn't too keen on Arsenal lifting the cup but to risk sending off the goalkeeper and then sacrifice one of the most experienced and promising players??? wtf. Forget it. Let's get on with what's really bothering me.
My dad said something when I was going to the kitchen to get food and that just triggered everything. I just pictured a ghastly 3rd world war scenario, involving just me myself and I and the rest of the world. At that juncture, in the kitchen, as I was slicing the chocolate cake with the kitchen knife, I just felt like plunging the knife straight into my chest. Yes, I felt there and then that taking away my own life would put an end to my misery. It wasn't the brightest of ideas but the thought of ending all pain felt damn good.
I'm not some 5 year-old child who needs to be told what to do and when to do things. Yes, whether you or my parents believe it or not, I can do that. I know damn well when to make my way down to the driving centre and get down to it. Besides, there isn't enough funds for me to actually book ALL FRIGGIN' 6-7 LESSONS AND THE TEST DATE! So cut me some slack already.
And honestly, I've had it up till *here*. I honestly have no idea what this world or my mother wants from me. Keluar salah, tak keluar pun salah. Semua serba tak kena. I'm on the brink of losing my sanity. She just goes on and on as if I've committed a huge sin. Hmmm, of course, I smoke pot and I gallivant a lot with the boys from the void deck. -_-
Firstly, if I had the authority, I would arrest all of them for illegal possession of cigarettes. Semua anak.bawah.umur lah seh.
Kalau aku nampak adik-adik aku lepak bawah blok dengan budak-budak tu semua, situ jugak aku tempeleng muka dia dan aku piat telinga dia, heret balik rumah.
I reached home before 9 yesterday and she made such a big hoo-haa out of it and apparently thinks it's out of line. My youngest sister is still not back from school after her exam paper! God. It wasn't (and isn't) even a school night for me!!!!!!!!!!! So just what exactly is the world trying to prove to me? That it's okay for a 12-year-old to go out and have a jolly good time even though exams are not over but it's definitely NOT okay for a 19-year-old who's not even a student at the moment, to come back before 9?
And guess what.
It's 1800hrs and I've not had lunch.
I WOULD MUCH RATHER LIVE IN TANJONG RAMBUTAN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
At least I know they don't expect me to have a driver's license. *snorts*
Kwinella @ 5:37 PM!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
After the previous entry, I figured that my entries have got to stop revolving around football and Liverpool (okay, and Stevie G). It's not as if I'm any good at the game. Everytime the gang wanted to play soccer during PE, I would try as much as possible to be involved in other games like floorball or basketball. The only time I couldn't evade the game was during one of the last few PE lessons when we had to play against the teachers. Not wanting to have much of a go at it, lest I make a complete fool of myself, I would find myself playing as a defender (and a good one at that. hur hur).
Tapi, kalau dah dasar kaki bangku, memang kaki bangku lah.
How I began to love the beauty of the game is unimaginable and an absolute miracle. But given that there is Stevie G, otherwise known as Captain Fantastic, and 21 other men chasing a ball on a pitch, what's not to like?
Moving on...
Someone told me earlier today that I have an emotional baggage that is way too heavy for my own good and that I'm a basket case. But after all the emotional turmoil I've been through (nothing earth-shattering though) within a time span of 1 year, how can I not be... so damn emotional about it? After a few minutes of senseless blabbering over text messages, the person simply told me to move on.
I am quote
weighed down by the burden of old emotion
unquote
All that weight is going to slow me down. So by the time I've crossed over to a pasture more promising, I'll be so old, my eggs are all probably dying.
hur hur.
How I managed to see humour in that, I have no idea. I'm *that* twisted.
Kwinella @ 1:22 AM!
The last thing you would want to say to a girl who cried when her ultimate favourite English football club is down by a goal, with only minutes to go before full time is:
"Alah, diorang menang nasib"
Would you like it when someone, out of nowhere, made a similar remark about your favourite team who have worked hard to get where they are and have succeeded in displaying multitudes of spectacular performances each time they are on the pitch?
Would you like it if I say it right to your face that Arsenal got into the final because of sheer luck? huh huhhhh? Would you?
Let me tell you something.
A Liverpool win is not just a win and it's not like any other win. It's much more beautiful than that and it has never been because of luck. Or at least, that's what I and a few others choose to believe.
Kwinella @ 12:59 AM!
Sunday, May 14, 2006
I don't think anyone has any idea how emotional the match was for me. As soon as I got off the LRT, I ran all the way back to my block, just so I wouldn't miss the remaining 20 minutes of the game. It was a nail-biting experience and completely heart-stopping for me. When 90 minutes were almost up, tears were streaming down my face. And then suddenly captain Steven Gerrard fired a blistering shot and I shouted GOOOAAAAAAAAAALLL! It was Steven Gerrard. It was truly a captain's moment, and surely, he is our one and only MerseyBoy. The next half an hour was excruciating and so was the shoot-out. Even though Hyypia missed, it was remarkably uplifting when the next 2 penalties taken by Gerrard and Riise were nothing but spot on.
But Gerrard's astonishing shot from 30 yards was the one that gave me a reason to keep on believing in the kop. And Reina, my my, truly a brilliant beyond brilliant goalkeeper despite the boo-boos he made earlier in the game. You want to know what really made the perfect ending to my day? You really want to know?
Stevie G being Man of The Match!
I've never been this happy in my life.
I thank God for creating Man with brains, legs and hands who in turn came up with this absolutely beautiful game, which has never ceased to make me smile or cry tears of inexplicable joy at the end of the day.
I'm so emotional these days.
Everytime I see pictures of The Reds lifting a trophy, I feel like crying.
Can someone out there understand and empathise this surge of ecstacy?
They are winners today and forever will be, in my heart.
Kwinella @ 1:51 AM!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Alhamdulillah, everything turned out okay despite the minor glitches.
Some mean chocolate cakes they turned out to be.
Due to overwhelming response sebab kek tu sedap nak mampos, I had to bake an additional batch for my grandma's birthday yesterday. So by the time the clock struck 11pm on Friday, I had baked 3 cakes in all. My mum had to rub my right arm because it was aching so badly from all the vigorous hand movements. I even slept with a koyok on my arm.
My virginal baking experience. hur hur.
The rest of yesterday afternoon was spent at the grandma's in Sembawang where we had a much heated discussion about marriage. Some people are really super shallow, at a level beyond redemption. Just because I talk and joke about marriage a lot, does not mean that I'm giving it any less sanctification nor am I any eager to get married at a barely ripe age of not-even 20. And just because I emphasise that money is important, does not make me much of a gold-digger. I mean, it is important in all aspects of a family's life. You need money to provide a shelter and basic amenities for the family. You need money to provide food. You need money to provide your children a decent education. You need money for provision of all things deemed as a necessity in a family unit in today's modern context.
Surely, there are people with the sentiment that money isn't everything. But put it in urban context, really, money is important. I'm sure we all know that already. We don't live in rural areas as peasants growing crops for subsistence. If that's the case, there is no doubt that money isn't everything.
But of course, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinions guarded by their own systems of belief.
Kwinella @ 1:09 PM!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Last night, I was looking through holiday photos taken last year when we were in Cape Town. I came across the ones taken at
Aquila Private Game Reserve & Safari, and I immediately became very hungry. This could only be due to the very fact that I was reminded of the succulent roasted lamb chop (of which I had many, many, many servings) and the simply awesome English desserts. In case you were wondering, yes, the meat's halal. In fact, all the meat that we had during our stay in Cape Town were halal. I returned to Singapore a happy girl and one who gained a few kilos, nonetheless.
Tsk, even now, as I type in the wee hours of the morning, I can hear my stomach crying out for food. I think I heard something like chapati and satay.
hur hur.
I hope I'll wake up before midday because I need to get baking condiments. I am going to bake something for the family and a certain someone.
Oh God, I pray to you Almighty one, help see to it that my baking experiment turns out fine and that everyone stays alive after eating whatever I've baked. Ameen.
Kwinella @ 2:33 AM!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
gee, have you noticed how I've been blogging at such ungodly hours?
yeap, even a dimwit can figure out how bored I've been these days.
Kwinella @ 2:13 AM!
This is shamelessly taken from shaf's blog.
girl: i'm always here for you
boy: I know
girl: what's wrong?
boy: i like her so much
girl: talk to her
boy: i don't know. she won't ever like me
girl: don't say that. you're amazing
boy: i just want her to know how i feel
girl: then tell her
boy: she won't like me
girl: how do you know that?
boy: i can just tell
girl: well just tell her
boy: what should i say?
girl: tell her how much you like her
boy: i tell her that daily
girl: what do you mean?
boy: i'm always with her. i love her
girl: i know how you feel. i have the same problem. but he'll never like me
boy: wait. who do you like?
girl: oh some boy
boy: oh she won't like me either
girl: she does
boy: how do you know?
girl: because, who wouldn't like you?
boy: you
girl: you're wrong. i love you
boy: i love you too
girl: so are you going to talk to her?
boy: i just did
Awwwww. It's awfully sweet, isn't it?
hur hur.
Shut up, I'm a sucker for such sweet and romantic things.
But I'm really sore because these things don't happen to me. chetttt. So forget that I said I like sweet-nothings and romantic quotes/conversations.
bleh.
Kwinella @ 2:01 AM!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I was co-erced into going marketing at sheng shiong. But really, I don't think I played a substantial role in marketing today because all I did was stand at a corner and watch other people pick out fish and pile up their shopping carts with gazillions of whatever essentials. Well I did, at one instance, help pick out caixin and spinach because my dad couldn't figure out which was which. pffffttt. Apart from standing at whichever corner I could find and watching my mum pick out all the veggie, groceries and fish, I ate. Yeap, I had 2 rolls from baker boy.
In any case, I was told to wait and look after the cart. Of course, people with their already-filled carts would envy the beautiful fish and lush green vegetables that we have in our cart and would, hence, want to steal those. -_-
We got back, I unpacked and we got ready for dinner after Maghrib.
Dad had told me about this eating place opposite the ccab called prata cafe. He said that they had wonderful chapati and awesome keema and so he drove us there. Sadly, it turned out to be a disappointment. Well, not the chapati. I wouldn't know because they didn't have anymore chapati. hehh. So we all settled for thosai instead. The next time I drop by, they better have that kickass chapati and awesome keema.
Amanda, I think I know where we should have our overdue thosai date. (:
My dad did the unthinkable as we were walking back to the carpark. I think my mother was in cahoots as well. They were mean, okay.
Dad: *in a hush tone* Ain, baik-baik tau. Dorang kata sini ada toyol kencing.
mum: a'ah, hari tu kita pergi makan kat sini, dorang kata dorang nampak budak kecik tgh kencing.
me: *obviously petrified* ahhhhh, babaaaaaaaaa *runs to the car*
But before I could even make it any further than 5 metres from where we were,
dad: tu dia *pointing to the fountain outside evans lodge*
And then we were back home, watching yet another riveting episode of Dia. Whenever that Bik Minah tries to manipulate Gita into hating Dia, I feel like throwing the remote control into the tv. It's infuriating. Especially so when she has that smirk like Fifi's. Super annoying. I'm so glad Fifi's finally in jail in the next episode. Don't worry ardent fans of Dia, Ivan and Dia are definitely getting re-married. For those not in the know, oops.
hur hur.
Once Dia ended, I promptly made my way to the study where my Dad was watching yesterday's match between the pompeys and the reds. Unlike the match at Old Trafford, I must admit that this one was a tad too boring for me. And boy, I hope Xabi Alonso will be fit for the FA cup final this weekend.
oh and to a certain mermaid, it's good to be ambitious and besides, EPL players more HC than S-League players mahhh. (:
Kwinella @ 12:45 AM!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Today, I went out with someone I least expected. My neighbour!
I was all hyped up for east coast but this woman was very the malas and so we ended up catching a chick flick. No harm done since it's only once in a while. And besides, it was a heartwarming chick flick. Pretty hilarious too. "I'm leaking!" hur hur.
After the movie, we walked around quite a bit in search of the perfect floral shirt for myself. Alas, out of all the floral shirts which were mostly plain eyesore, none were to my liking. It's always like that, isn't it? When you've got all the money in the world, nothing seems to suit your fancy. But when you're completely broke and in dire need for cash, everything seems to appeal. Very annoying.
Since nothing caught our eyes, we took a bus down to westmall to get her a pair of pants and shoes and also to meet Kak Era. The sisters were meeting on the pretext of getting a birthday gift for their sister but they ended up shopping for quite a load for themselves as well. *cue to slap forehead* And I, the one who was so keen to look for a top, went home empty-handed. Well, not really. I went home with a fish wrap meal from LJS. Whatever it is, perut mau isi pe~
hur hur.
And someone had a slip of the tongue in the mrt and I'm quite certain a whole lot of others heard it too.
she: Ain is like George Almighty
me: Bruce Almighty you mean?
All three of us: BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...
I still don't see how my being taller than the two of you (haha) has got anything to do with Bruce Almighty.
In any case, I had a blast. Thanks for the date and the ride home.
pssst... I think I forgot to mention how I had a mini orgasm when I saw Gerrard and Reina on the screen for an advertisement. Hur hur.
omg omg! It was Stevie G and Reina and Xabi Alonso and Jamie Carragher! omg omg!
Can I faint now?
Kwinella @ 12:43 AM!
Friday, May 05, 2006
The pay's finally in and I felt somewhat a little less lazy than usual. hur hur.
And so Ain whose pantat is so besar nak mampos dan asyik besarkan televisyen je, decided to give tv and couch a miss and head on down to the former workplace. I had 6-7 dvds with me and they were all to be returned on Tuesday. Me being my usual pemalas self, took my own sweet time as if I had a thousand years to watch those movies.
Stayed for a while to do a wee bit of catching up even though I couldn't stand still most of the time. You can't blame me for being like a cacing kepanasan because, the building's air con system has been down for 3 darn days. 3 days! Melampau seh.
I soon found myself in town and walking around aimlessly in ngee ann city. I had clean forgotten about my desire to buy yet another bag from puma and consequently ended up in British India, unaware of the fix I was going to put myself in. What drew me into the shop were its long sleeved tops which were almost of 3/4 length. They came in white, khaki and yellow. I happily grabbed one and walked around for quite a bit. I was browsing when it came to my attention, that most of the apparels were priced in the range of hundreds. Fortunately for me, my memory regained its function and I recalled that I wanted to get a bag. And so, I hung the top back in place, smiled at the sales person and attempted to walk away with the most nonchalant look on my face, ever.
Very the ye-ye-orh kan? Haiz. Nevermind. Shit happens.
After buying the bag, I made my way to borders with much excitement which was eventually deflated as if pricked by a pin, when the girl at the information counter told me that Sputnik Sweetheart is currently out of stock and the distributor's not taking any orders for the time being. The disappointment was beyond belief. waaaaay beyond.
As a consolation, I decided to treat myself to a korean action-romance flick starring, in my humble opinion, the very pretty Jeon Ji-Hyun. I consider it to be one of the best korean movies I've watched because it doesn't depict a happy-ending fairy tale and also because the conclusion was pretty tragic and bloody. And hey, I might even consider buying the soundtrack.
And then I left my ez link in the theatre (I think). -_-
I cannot even begin to imagine how it slipped out of my pocket. But you know what irked me the most?
I just had it topped up earlier that afternoon.
gaaaaaaaah.
Kwinella @ 1:25 AM!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
There is nothing that a mcdonald's meal and milkshake can't fix.
If it can satisfy a very lonely and miserable girl, it can damn well make all your troubles go away, momentarily. heh. Sometimes, I just feel like it's an imperative; to stuff my face with food and eat like there's no tomorrow. It's a very unhealthy way to deal with all emotional disturbances but hey, if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad, no?
Despite feeling completely gorged, I was still craving for ice blended plum with pearls. But because the queue was worse than the taxi queue I was in last week, I went home a sore girl.
In any case, I went straight to my room and started surfing (which eventually led me to where I am now). Boredom heightened to greater levels and I discovered wordspy. In no less than half an hour, I found myself taking down economic and business jargons I've never come across during my term as a pre-u student.
Haiz. If only I had discovered it sooner. I would've probably gotten into an economics course . hur hur. Kelakarnya kau ain. Economics. har dee har har.
And I also found a term which I would fit right in. Just for the record, I'm quite close to being a celebriphillia due to my weird fantasies about being with steven gerrard and all. Quite close because I am not in a romantic pursuit. heh. Oh well, that could only be due to my financial inadequacy. If I had a private jet and lotsa cash, do you think I'd sit still and let him be? Hell no.
Okay, no. I kid. I am not a home-wrecker. I just have to let him go, I guess.
Hur hur.
Ya Allah, tak tau malunya saya ni.
Okay, I need to berak. bye.
Kwinella @ 11:06 PM!
I've come to a point of apathy and ignorance beyond saturation. I shall no longer hope for I know it will only be in vain. Henceforth, I am moving on. So long, my friend/lover or whatever it is you wish to be referred to as.
I thought we stood a chance. But obviously, I thought wrong.
You either do or don't. There is no but I'm not the one for you.
Kwinella @ 5:22 PM!
