No, I do not turn turn 20 today.

I am well aware that I haven't tasted all the garam in the world but I think I've had just enough salt to say that I've learnt to never hold on to anyone (a friend) for far too long. This maybe a paradigm shift that I am embarking on. But who knows yea. Well anyways, I'd be a hypocrite if I say I can live without a girlfriend. Truth of the matter is, I really need someone whom I can cry to at 3 or 4 am whenever I'm in a deep blue funk, someone whom I can bitch with whenever the need arises, just someone who cares about me and loves me as much as I would for them, or even more.

And do I have that person now? Well if I do, I wouldn't even bother typing this out, now would I? I have seriously lost faith in all that gff thing. It could be due to the benchmark set by a certain someone who was at one point in my life, pretty special. But that was soooooooo many years ago.

It's just sad, when you suddenly grow to adopt such a principle. No doubt, it's my choice, independent of others' viewpoint. All I'm trying to say is that, it's just so sad that life has to turn out like this as I get older. I have lesser people to fall back on, lesser shoulder to cry on, lesser numbers to call when I have good news to share and blablabla.Everything's dwindling. My money included. One thing's for sure though, my weight is not dwindling. It's sky-rocketing. Forget about a boyfriend, I don't even have a girlfriend. boo, I suck. I miss secondary school. And my 2 besties. Is this a semblance of a mid-life crisis?

But I've not even lived a quarter of a century.

Okay okay, I shall stop writing pensive entries which are highly-recommended for people who can't seem to get themselves to the melancholic side of life. Then again, who would want to do that?

That aside, I am definitely not going to Jason Mraz's concert. I shall put aside a substantial amount of my pending pay for a little something that I probably deserve. It's about sodding time, I say. Ohh and of course, a little bit for ummm as my dad would not-so-subtly put it, "duit untuk kahwin". I shall not mope and whine and fret about not going to that concert because I know, before I tender my resignation, insya' Allah I will have enough to buy all Jason Mraz dvds available in Singapore. I would then be able to drool/salivate/ferociously slobber him with kisses while he's on my tv, anytime I want in the comfort of my own home. woooohoooo.

Who says I'm sore about not going? I'm definitely not sore. Confirm. Just a little pissed. Takpe la eh. Come 2007 or the end of this year, I'll make sure I scream with delight when I get my big fat ass to London and somehow, Anfield. I'll make sure I post lotsa pretty pictures of me somewhere in picturesque London. HAHAHA. I'm delusional, I know. But surely there must be at least a teeny bit of sentimental value in that place and that's probably why I'm so hyped up. Afterall, it has been 18 years. How Jason Mraz and London's connected, I'm not too sure. I just want to sleep.