After work saw me spending quality alone time, again. I was so intent on borrowing memoirs of a geisha but ended up with a memory of war and 3 other interesting enough reads. Ohh and 3 dvds from the workplace. I just feel compelled to say something to those who have read memoirs of a geisha and are planning to have a go at the movie - you are going to be so disappointed. But naaahhh. I didn't watch memoirs of a geisha. I caught in her shoes instead. A random girl working at starbucks couldn't find a seat to have her meal so she shared seats with me. I made conversation and she asked me what was I going to watch. So I told her and she was saying that word has it that it's not worth your $9.50. I was riveted, from beginning right till the end. It was such a heartwarming show lah. It's worth every penny. The tears just came rolling down my cheeks when Maggie was reading the poem by E.E Cummings at her sister's wedding.

And then... you know how you can suddenly feel so alone when you're alone (duh ain, gee). I stayed still in my seat for a moment during the end credits and that was when the loneliness was really really overwhelming and almost deafening. I decided to head on down to where Nana was. The journey back home was crazy ass but good. There was this makcik though, who kept on staring at us as if we had committed a crime so sinful. I just wanted to dig her eyeballs out of the sockets there and then. She was asking for it.

So much for wanting to fulfil my desire for a pair of slick, black heels and rubber bands. I didn't even step foot on far east plaza. Nonsense lah this ain.

Later at 9.50, I'll be having my first ever, practical session. I'm a nervous wreck. I've forgotten all the various switches in the car.

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I really don't like where this entry is going (I hate my glasses too. It's too loose). All I wanted to do is rant on and on about how I feel so damn lonely. But I don't wish to appear too pathetic. But what the hell lah kan. This is my blog and I shall please no one but myself. I have no problem with doing things such as eating, catching a chick flick , all by myself. That much, I can handle. But in the course of doing these things for an extended period of time, it really gets to me. I never thought that I could be so fragile that I can't even live without a companion. I used to immensely enjoy my alone time, especially at nights. This is because, that is the only time that I can truly embrace my innermost thoughts and emotions that surge through my very being. However, after being single/lonely (whichever is deemed appropriate) for quite sometime, I realise that I was never quite the strong person whom I thought I was and that I can never be alone for too long, in a single period of time. I've always needed somebody to fall back on. One can have too many friends but I can never have a friend who I can truly count on. I mean... why the hell should those people care? They have their own problems, heartbreaks to mend, bruised knee to nurse and whatever. The trivialities of my life should never get in their way. They are just friends, no? Not some superhuman who can cater to my love for company to indulge in life's little simple things with. But really, is that too much to ask for?

I have a feeling this void will linger for quite a while.

I had better get used to it. (: