It must have been the 2 bottles and 4 cans of green teas I consumed, all in one day. Because of the slight change in brain hyperactivity and hence the tendency to smile a lot and becoming extremely friendly, I found myself deeply immersed in a conversation with a stranger. For 4 hours, we talked like we've been friends forever and know each other inside out. It was just like talking to a long lost girlfriend, except that this one's much older.
I want to also add that my saturday was filled with serendipity. I finally saw someone whom I've known for 6-7 years. He and I might come across to most as naive but really, we both once loved each other deeply. Now that I've gotten older and outgrown my addiction to the then-crazily popular irc (not sure if I've become any wiser though), I do realise how preposterous the idea of having loved someone without actually having physical contact (ie, eye contact) of any form, is. ohwells. puppy love lah horrr. In any case, I didn't go up to him and say hi because he was all sweaty after his gig. ohhh he kicked ass. :) The next time I see you, I'll say hi okay? Promise.
I also saw someone I used to date for quite a bit. That was pretty darn awkward but I tried with all my might to be nonchalant. ummm I think it worked. And then saw riana, eli, hidayah and khaiyisha ohhh and camy. It was at that juncture where I concluded that I've had an overdose of green tea. This is because, I didn't do as per what I normally do when I bump into people, which is to -
1. ignore and pretend they didn't see me and I didn't see them or
2.smile widely and wave frantically or
3.go over to give the salaam and chat a bit
Instead, I went ballistic, got waaaaay too excited and started hugging those girls so tight, I think I almost crushed their ribs. hur hur.
In any case, I think that the stranger (still remember her? she was mentioned earlier) was tbeing too generous with compliments. Boy, did she butter me up and smother me. She said I have such lovely expressive eyes and she adores my physique. Why would anyone want to have a body like mine!? We were in a conversation where food was the subject and I told her that I am crazy about indian food especially thosai and naan. She asked me if I own a couple of punjabi suits or indian accessories of sorts and told her in fact I do. She immediately concluded that I may end up marrying an Indian man. I just couldn't believe my ears when I heard her say that. Sebab mak aku pun kata yang aku akan mendirikan rumahtangga dengan seorang ambeley. semua gara-gara suka tonton filem hindi dan makan thosai dan naan. hur hur. Anyways, as I was saying, this new-found friend of mine, she finds me extremely attractive (despite the hideous breakouts. now I'm beginning to wonder if her eyesight's fine). Wouldn't it be nice if all those had come out of a man's mouth? sigh.
After the gig ended, we exchanged hugs, bade farewell and wished each other well. The day was well-spent. The rain made just made everything better. It was lovely. Yeaaaaa, the aunty actually sat through the gig. Cool kan?
Okay, I shall now get Lost In Translation.
hur hur.
I just keep getting weirder. It's the green tea. It has to be.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I just feels so malas these days. All I want to do is snuggle under the covers when that damned alarm blares from under my pillow at 8 every morning. But alas, circumstances is such that I must work and get something out of it. So... bo pian lah. Everything is becoming more challenging and demanding than ever - work, home, state of mind and physical and emotional well being. It's hard to pull through the day when you come across people who're downright rude and think they're waaaaay fucking up there just because they can spend God-knows-how-much on dvds and then having to come home to a mother who can't stop screaming because of a missing pe t shirt and some books/files lying around.
And then, when you finally have the time to go out and catch up with friends, you'd find yourself in either of the situations :
1. you have no friends
2. your friends are all too busy and therefore, can't be bothered about you.
But nevermind lah eh. Ini semua tidak penting. The one thing now that leaves me baffled everynight is what to wear to work the following day. Shopping for tops is now on top of my shopping list.
Ohhh... and then there's the screaming mother issue. More often than not, I am left feeling sorry for myself when I am all alone in my room. The least she could do was to ask if I've eaten. But noooooo, yelling at the imbeciles was obviously more important. Maybe I expect way too much of others. In any case, I don't feel that it's too much for a daughter to ask. Let me justify my sentiments.
Every single day, I commute to work by train and every single day and I end up standing from bukit panjang to tanjong pagar. At work, I stand from 10.30 till about 8. I've no qualms about having to stand all the time at work. I also commute back home by train. I am frustrated because I even have to stand throughout my journey home. Yes, I am a weakling and I have a problem with me not getting a seat on the train, so sue me. And the people who happily sit and doze off with their heads nodding up and down, sideways even, are probably those whose jobs are desk-bound (read: sit all day long until pantat tepos). I can't help but frown and roll my eyes at these people. So annoying, I feel like slapping every single one of them.
I also hate old aunties who think just because they're friggin' old, they have every right to shove and push others. And what is it with those who always rush into the train to secure a seat for themselves and then rushing to the door so that they'll be the first to alight?? First one to sit/alight will get cash prize issit???? wah lau. Terrible, these people are. Almost barbaric.
It's not always that I suddenly become so bitchy and transform into the ultimate complain queen. To those who think that I have always been one, that's 2 middle fingers for you. so, sod off.
Kwinella @ 10:16 PM!
Monday, January 16, 2006
If I were to make a new year resolution (other than the same to-be-a-better-person every other year), it would be and shall be to start running again and get back in shape. Right now, my body is terribly in disproportion. I may have skinny hands but my arms are huge. I have a considerably okay waist but the monstrosity of my hips and ass is just out of this world. As a consolation, I'd very much like to think that this is the effect of late puberty because in my early pubescent age, my behind was almost non-existent. hur hur. Could it be? As I've said, it's just a form of consolation. And wait till you see my legs now. You will probably die of shock. The horror.
In order to kickstart the resolution (to ensure that it really materialises), I need to look for a pair of running shoes since all my cross trainers and court shoes have been discarded eons ago. All the better. Now I have more excuses to shop and spend money like water. hehhh. I kid you. Why of course, I ought to practice some self-control. I cannot afford to spend all my money and end up having none just when I am about to get married. haha. Jauhnya aku melencong. Perhaps asics would be the brand to get.
By the way, remember the killer heels I mentioned? It almost killed me. I am very sure that I looked like the most unglam piece of crap after work in the train. I was standing on one leg. And from jurong east to cck, the way I sat was just... I just stretched out my legs and my body... tsk, the way I sat would've made me fall off my seat lah. My back was barely in contact with the seat. My head was resting on the seat. Pumps it is tomorrow.
Kwinella @ 10:46 PM!
My Sassy Girl's pretty pleasant to watch because it's very light-hearted. Nothing too emotional, nor was it gushing with endless passion. It was just right for an extremely exhausted brain, like mine. Ye lah ye lah, aku tahu aku amat outdated - i watched that darn movie only recently. pfffttt.
I needed to sleep right after the movie but I couldn't resist the books lying on my desk. I picked one out of the three on the very messy desk, entitled The Man With The Dancing Eyes. The cover would have you mistake it for a children's book. But really, it's a love story which unlike modern love stories, is not complicated and has not got much twist in it. Why do I read it then? Because it's a short story but beautiful nonetheless. In fifteen minutes, I had completely immersed myself into the character of Pierre who is a woman by the way. Within that time span also, I finished the book and felt an inexplicable sense of satisfaction.
If only such uncomplicated, incandescent happiness truly exists. After a while, reads like the aforementioned leave me so miserable. bleh.
As much as I hate to snap back to reality, there's work tomorrow. Because I badly want to be the owner of that wallet-blistering, pocket-burning Aldo heels, I will and must get my butt to work tomorrow. This is so teruk okay. Look at me. I've become a money hungry, materialistic girl. tsk tsk tsk.
Tapikan... if it makes me happy, it can't be that bad. Right.
Keep on telling yourself that Ain.
Kwinella @ 12:58 AM!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
My period is almost over, I eat healthy ( lotsa veggies and fruits lehhh), I drink lotsa plain water and I get enough sleep but they just keep popping out. Someone must have cursed me or something. Pleeeaaase, take it back, I beg you. I don't want to end up single and lonely when I'm 21 just because my face is smeared with pimples while most of my friends are probably engaged to be married. Some are even married with kids already. Gila kan diorang? But nevermind, may they bask in marital bliss till eternity.
Gee, talk about being melodramatic.
Hmmm that aside, my first practical was nerve-wrecking. But thankfully, I left bbdc safe and sound and the instructor was still in one piece when the session was over. hur hur. I'm a pretty safe driver albeit a nervous one at that and needless to say, a tad too careful. Okay can't wait for the next session.
I was at my void deck when beruk called me and asked me out. It was fab. Though I must admit that I was fuming mad when we found that tong seng was exclusively closed. Gee, we concluded that it must have been the big boss' birthday but I secretly thought someone must have passed away because I am morbid like that. After dinner, we hung out at somerset's starbucks and began unwinding memories from yesteryears - our OG days. -okay back from scratching my backside- I had to include that tiniest detail. hehhh. Anyways, she had me in astonishment and rather amused when she told me a little something about someone which I, of course, found it hard to believe. tsk tsk tsk. Who could have thought, she and he... ohhhh I shudder when their images flash across my mind. They would have made the perfect couple in any case. Match-made in heaven. ok, I think beruk's right when she said that I was probably high on something. Must have been all the green tea I've had in just one week. At the rate I'm going, it won't be surprising at all if I were to be diagnosed with (God forbid) diabetes.
Tsk, I can't live with the fact that I didn't have my fishball noodles from tong seng.
Ohhh I bought heels for work. I've gone bonkers I tell you. Heels for work. I'm attempting suicide. But this isn't really the pair I wanted. I couldn't help it. It's just so chic and slick.
Okaaaay, I'll update soon on how work went with them killer heels. Aku memang cari nahas. It's My Sassy Girl for now. woootwooot. Beruk, thanks for today. Sooo love.
Kwinella @ 9:50 PM!
After work saw me spending quality alone time, again. I was so intent on borrowing memoirs of a geisha but ended up with a memory of war and 3 other interesting enough reads. Ohh and 3 dvds from the workplace. I just feel compelled to say something to those who have read memoirs of a geisha and are planning to have a go at the movie - you are going to be so disappointed. But naaahhh. I didn't watch memoirs of a geisha. I caught in her shoes instead. A random girl working at starbucks couldn't find a seat to have her meal so she shared seats with me. I made conversation and she asked me what was I going to watch. So I told her and she was saying that word has it that it's not worth your $9.50. I was riveted, from beginning right till the end. It was such a heartwarming show lah. It's worth every penny. The tears just came rolling down my cheeks when Maggie was reading the poem by E.E Cummings at her sister's wedding.
And then... you know how you can suddenly feel so alone when you're alone (duh ain, gee). I stayed still in my seat for a moment during the end credits and that was when the loneliness was really really overwhelming and almost deafening. I decided to head on down to where Nana was. The journey back home was crazy ass but good. There was this makcik though, who kept on staring at us as if we had committed a crime so sinful. I just wanted to dig her eyeballs out of the sockets there and then. She was asking for it.
So much for wanting to fulfil my desire for a pair of slick, black heels and rubber bands. I didn't even step foot on far east plaza. Nonsense lah this ain.
Later at 9.50, I'll be having my first ever, practical session. I'm a nervous wreck. I've forgotten all the various switches in the car.
------------------------------
I really don't like where this entry is going (I hate my glasses too. It's too loose). All I wanted to do is rant on and on about how I feel so damn lonely. But I don't wish to appear too pathetic. But what the hell lah kan. This is my blog and I shall please no one but myself. I have no problem with doing things such as eating, catching a chick flick , all by myself. That much, I can handle. But in the course of doing these things for an extended period of time, it really gets to me. I never thought that I could be so fragile that I can't even live without a companion. I used to immensely enjoy my alone time, especially at nights. This is because, that is the only time that I can truly embrace my innermost thoughts and emotions that surge through my very being. However, after being single/lonely (whichever is deemed appropriate) for quite sometime, I realise that I was never quite the strong person whom I thought I was and that I can never be alone for too long, in a single period of time. I've always needed somebody to fall back on. One can have too many friends but I can never have a friend who I can truly count on. I mean... why the hell should those people care? They have their own problems, heartbreaks to mend, bruised knee to nurse and whatever. The trivialities of my life should never get in their way. They are just friends, no? Not some superhuman who can cater to my love for company to indulge in life's little simple things with. But really, is that too much to ask for?
I have a feeling this void will linger for quite a while.
I had better get used to it. (:
Kwinella @ 1:06 AM!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
On Monday, when I was in the lrt on my way home, I saw two men, at the two ends of the cabin, simultaneously picking their respective noses. It was quite a sight. I was of course, very disgusted but amused would be a better description of my emotion at that juncture. And this afternoon at work, I stood near the players and came this man, nonchalantly, putting one finger into his mouth and dug all the way at the back. He did that when the distance of separation between us was one inch, no less. Talk about upclose and personal.
geli aku.
And then, there was an ang moh who walked into the shop and I immediately thought that there was an uncanny resemblance between him and chris martin from coldplay. But of course, I was just being excessively imaginative. I think it was because of the extremely high nose bridge and hair (or the lack of it). hur hur.
Who wants to be my movie date on saturday? in her shoes. Angkat tangan tunjuk ketiak, come on!
Kwinella @ 12:00 AM!
Sunday, January 08, 2006
I can only stare in disbelief as I read my sister's entry on her classmates. It has only been one week in school and already they're bitching about each other in class. They're already teenagers and yet still upholding the characteristics, that of a twelve-year-old or even lesser.
Can't we all just get along and live happily ever after?
Kwinella @ 4:13 PM!
God answered my prayers and they didn't let me down after all. (:
I was terribly overwrought that they were at the losing end, I was in tears. But all was good in the end. They finished off and made it to the 4th round in a truly classic fashion. What a comeback. I'm a happy girl. See, who says I need a guy to make me happy? I need 11 guys. hur hur. okay merepek la.
I was a wuss nevertheless. I cried over a football match. I cried when I thought the reds were going to lose and I also cried when xabi alonso added his final touch because it was too beautiful a moment.
I am ecstatic beyond belief.
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
And the sweet silver song of a lark...
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone...
You'll never walk alone.
It really is more than just a song.
dvd marathon in the afternoon. yay.
Kwinella @ 3:29 AM!
Sha, your mulut really very masin lor.
It was a clearcut offside. But nooooooo, I have no fucking idea what the assistant referee was doing. Busy eyeing the ball instead of players perhaps? c*b*i. I hope the reds make a terrific comeback after the first half. Judging from the earlier sentences, it's really a no-brainer that this entry is going to entirely sound very pms-y and almost equivalent to a bitch fit. heh.
For two days in a row, I saw a malay couple probably as young as me. The first time I saw them was on wednesday afternoon and the second time, the next day, on my way to work. What is it about them that annoys me to the core of my soul, you ask? I'm not perasaan or what lah because I really did see the boyfriend looking at me, as if stealing glances. It was more like staring, really. Surely, I couldn't have imagined it because it happened on wednesday AND thursday. I was just so peeved, I came to 2 conclusions. One, it could be that he is so damn gatal, he can't keep his eyes to his girlfriend only who by the way, is quite pretty. c*b*i lah these guys. Okay and, my not-so-imaginative conclusion would be that I am so damn fugly, he was astonished by the horror of my ugliness and so he couldn't stop staring. Not so imaginative but there is still somewhat a degree of imagination. hur hur.
You're so damn right I'm shameless.
okay I'm off. come on reds, don't let me down.
Kwinella @ 2:21 AM!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Actually lah kan, aku ada banyak benda nak cerita dekat korang-korang semua. Dalam jangka masa yang amat singkat, pelbagai jenis manusia yang aku jumpa.
The past few days have been tiring but good. Whether or not I am basking in bliss is another thing altogether. If you believe that standing all day long and going home with aching feet is indeed very blissful, then maybe we ought to meet and maybe then I could just strangle you so that you'd die a terrible death. hur hur. I kid you.
There are just so many things that I want to buy. Heels, clothes and cds. Don't ask me why heels. In any case, I'm still going to let all of you know the reason why I want to get heels. hee hee. It's really very simple lah. I am just growing to be quite a vainpot and besides, I've always been the sort who'll just tumble and fall for no rhyme and reason (or maybe because of the lack of sense of balance). Izzah says that maybe if we wear heels more often, we'd be able to gain more balance and learn to walk gracefully. So hopefully, with the amount that I plan to spend on heels, I'd be able to glide gracefully like royalty. heh. You know, like how Julie Andrews taught Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries. So exciting.
After work, saw Nasrul at the somerset bus stop and we ended up laughing our asses off. For a moment, all the corniness brought back memories from yesteryears. Nas, maybe we should do desker and naan sometime soon. (:
Before I take my leave to hit the sack, is anyone going to the backstreet boys concert??? If any of you happen to be going or planning on going, would you kindly buy me a ticket? please? *flutters eyelashes* hur hur. kau. menyampah sial.
ehhhh korang tahu tak, aku sekarang amat suka dengan wong lee hom. haha. sedaaaaap. ohh and lisa ono. cachito cachito~ everytime I hear cachito at work, I feel the dire need to shake my ass.
Kwinella @ 12:23 AM!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Penat lah. But it's all good. I had fun. Yes, fun.
beruk, now that the selenge has finally started working, she realises that she misses school and studying an awful lot.
sha, yes, I'll try my best to be happy. and of course the reds will win despite the disappointing defeat last night.
jas, I miss you too la. Especially your high-pitched voice. Yes, your voice is most certainly of a high pitch.
max, have a blessed year ahead. Hope you're doing well.
mustafa yang jambu, hahaha don't rub it in, can?
Okay, I think it's time to hit the sack. I have a feeling that I'll drift into slumberland almost the instance I tuck myself into bed. I'm *that* knackered.
Kwinella @ 11:11 PM!
Monday, January 02, 2006
Gone are the days when I can wake up at midday or evenin the late afternoon. Today marks the end of my carefree days and I am actually thankful for that. The downside of having to go to work is missing oprah at 1 and the nanny at 2. *sniffles* But since I am really keen on making lotsa money during this brief period of time, nevermind that I'd lose precious sleep time. Nevermind that I am going to miss monday night laughs on starworld and scrubs on thursday. (: It's all in the name of mencari rezeki and greater prosperity. hur hur.
Kwinella @ 10:01 PM!
After having eaten so many cups of creme of mushroom these past few days, I'm beginning to wonder if there is a likelihood of any side effects other than the weight gain from my new found eating habit. I can imagine my head turning into a mushroom or my body excreting creme of mushroom. hur hur.
Told you I'm too imaginative for my own good.
Kwinella @ 9:32 PM!
One of my cousins is gonna get hitched at the end of the year. woooohoooooo. They were all talking about it earlier this evening at my place when they got back from a wedding reception. I could feel the excitement when they were going on and on about wedding favours. Seronok. Amidst all the commotion, my dad had to make a remark
dad: ain, you must start saving money now.
ain: whatever for? It's not like I'm going to get married tomorrow.
dad: ye la, jadi nanti tak payah last minit nak save duit mcm kak **** ni.
*everyone burst into laughter*
I think my dad should bear in mind that I don't even have a suitable candidate to have my hand in marriage lor. Plus, isn't it way too early to be thinking about getting married? A level results are not even out yet! I do, however, have a rough idea of how I want my wedding to turn out. haha what, can't I be a little bit ambitious albeit imaginative? Nevermind that I have no groom-to-be.
On to something else. A few weeks ago, I chanced upon someone's blog which I found to be rather witty, nonchalant and real. But, I also thought that one of his entries was ridiculously... I don't know, can't seem to find the word. Anyways, it was on winnie the pooh. He went on and on about how he thought that pooh was just a drunkard and that was how he got his big belly instead from eating too much honey. He went on to write how unrealistic the character was because no bear would be all smiles because they're mostly ferocious and have sharp claws. I just thought that he had completely missed the idea that pooh and the rest are actually friends aka toys of christopher robin. Now tell me, which sane parent would want to get a horrid-looking teddy with claws for their small boy?
I was reminded of that blog entry when I was watching heffalump on tv earlier today. I fell in love with lumpy almost immediately. That elephant is very adorable. So adorable, I could kiss and cuddle him/her all day.
So I did nothing but watch tv and eat all day. At 9, my sisters and I got ready for a movie. We watched chronicles of narnia, finally. I've heard people say it's one helluva boring show but I say it's kick-ass. I was enthralled, most definitely. I even clapped at the end. heh. We went for supper at al-ameen and then a drive to benjamin sheares bridge because I just wanted to see the fullerton and suntec at night and yea, I'm jakun like that.
When we got back, Nana decided to scare Mother by hiding behind the wall at the lift lobby.
me: don't play hide hide lah. later got hantu tetek.
nana: where got hantu tetek? maybe we'll end up in Narnia, like in the movies. HAHAHA.
me: hahahaha...
I think Mother suffered quite a fright from the "boo!" Nana gave.
Kwinella @ 2:07 AM!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
A secret I've kept to myself for far too long. I cannot stand to live watching other people happy. Sometimes, I cast a gaze upon some people and sometimes I look and them and just smile. But more importantly, when I do that, I would secretly hope for ill to befall them. I also often wonder why is it that I'm always so bitter while most people can go haa-hee-huu like some prancing monkey on the loose. Therefore, I sometimes derive pleasure from being difficult towards others which, in other words, translates into being a pain-in-the-arse. You know like, if I'm not happy, why should life be any less complicated for them. Being a sadist (if you will) somewhat gives me a sense of authority or superiority of some sort.
Now all of you probably think I should be admitted into a mental asylum.
Gee, what a way to usher in the new year. With a bang indeed. I've certainly banged myself (this is no attempt to be lame or funny. I really did "bang" myself in this entry)
Now my friends, don't you worry. I would never wish for any harm to befall you. The "some people" mentioned earlier are probably people who have been very very very very very mean to me but got away with it.
Kwinella @ 12:07 AM!
