I find it rather strange, now that I have all the time in the world to ramble on and on about important and equally unimportant issues, I would much rather let the day whittle away by either staying in my room, or being outside with girlfriends and have a ball of a time. whew. That was a long sentence in which I'm sure there are thousands of grammatical errors. Hmmm, that's another matter altogether, so nevermind.

Well anyways, I had a blast with the S3 girls plus Adibah's sister. I think she's a darl except when she tried to psycho Izzah into having more food. Haha. For the first time ever, I actually felt like a tourist, and one in my hometown at that. We were snapping pictures everywhere. At the foodcourt, in the toilet, at the christmas tree, at paragon... you get the drift. For once in my life, I felt shameless (who am I kidding). Unfortunately, everything that started has to come to an end. Took the bus home and slept throughout the journey. Have I mentioned that I am beginning to feel more and more like a spoilt brat? Eversince my dad started driving, I have gotten so used to having him drive us around. And when the day finally came that I was left to fend for myself, I complained on my way to city hall earlier today in the mrt, that the ride was making me giddy. So ngada-ngada, right?

Okay, so I reached home slightly after maghrib. Did my prayers and then switched on the pc. I sat in front of the pc and just stared into the monitor, as if expecting life form of somesort to come crawling out of the monitor to scare me to death (think the ring). I suddenly felt so sappy and lonely lah. I used to love the idea of being all alone at home because it gives me the chance to embrace all my thoughts and emotions. I have always loved the solace that comes with such reclusiveness. But as of late, I just want to be around people. When I am left to be on my own at home, tendencies to let negativities subjugate my innerself and then cry like small girl are pretty high. I seriously have no idea what is wrong.

I think I did something rather stupid the night before last. It was so stupid, I am too ashamed to mention it here. tsktsktsk. If I could, I'd take back everything that I've said. But I couldn't help it. I've lived with it in silence for far too long. A moment more that I wait would probably see me hyperventilate from all the pressure and confusion. For once, I thought I was doing something nice for myself. Obviously, I thought wrong.

I have no idea how I am going to send 2 thick geography files, 3 sets of economics notes and a management textbook to my friends' house, all by myself.